The Hormone Hostage knows . . . . .

that there are days when
all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his
life in his own hands! This is a Handy Guide that
should be as common as a driver's license in the
wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant
other!

Dangerous: What's for dinner?
Safer: Can I help you with dinner?
Safest: Where would you like to go for dinner?
Ultra Safe: Here, have some chocolate.

Dangerous: Are you wearing that?
Safer: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
Safest: WOW! Look at you!
Ultra Safe: Here, have some chocolate

Dangerous: What are you so worked up about?
Safer: Could we be overreacting?
Safest: Here's my paycheck.
Ultra Safe: Here, have some chocolate.

Dangerous: Should you be eating that?
Safer: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Safest: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
Ultra Safe: Here, have some chocolate.

Dangerous: What did you DO all day?
Safer: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
Safest: I've always loved you in that robe!
Ultra Safe: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one ...

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and
those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a
warning. And remember: Money talks, but Chocolate SINGS!!!