Friday, November 12, 2010

How did this happen? I can’t be 60!

Q: Why should 60 year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Sixty is the venerable, senior generation – not the young, hip, break-the-rules crowd I grew up with. We were taught to show respect to Sixty, all the while rolling our eyes whenever one of these well-meaning, hopeless dolts demonstrated that she was clueless about the really important things in life—like good music, politics, relationships, and what to wear to a ballet.

How did I become one of THEM?

Sixty can’t name a single song on iTunes top download list. Sixty is the target audience for those pathetic TV ads for Viagra, adult diapers, and reverse mortgages. Sixty is more concerned about his own property tax rates than quality education for (other people’s) kids. Sixty can’t remember how a joke goes two minutes into the telling of it. Sixty is the loyal first wife that her graying husband leaves for the newer, shinier model. Sixty is the panicked middle manager who prays that the latest downsizing round will pass him by. Surely I can’t be 60!

OK, I exaggerate. A little. The Godzilla-sized boomer generation has redefined what it means to be 60. Indeed, our market power has allowed us to state convincingly that “sixty is the new forty.” We are healthier, more active and engaged in life than the generations preceding us. We have lots of role models who look FABULOUS and exude a vitality to match their great looks.

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